The Kingdom of Qandahar is a gargantuan, genial nation, notable for its strictly enforced bedtime, sprawling nuclear power plants, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-working, cynical population of 13.75 billion Qandaharians are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Law & Order. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 25.6%.

The strong Qandaharian economy, worth 720 trillion Afghanis a year, is led by the Woodchip Exports industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Information Technology, and Gambling. Average income is 52,365 Afghanis, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 166,483 per year while the poor average 12,542, a ratio of 13.3 to 1.

Contestants on Qandahar's Got Talent are screened by the government to make sure that they actually have talent, every week is blindness awareness week, Super Barry Brothers is the most popular video game in the nation, and tantrum-throwing toddlers are regularly imprisoned on assault charges. Crime, especially youth-related, is relatively low, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Qandahar's national animal is the Snow Leopard, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Qandahar is ranked 39,624^th in the world and 1,384^th in Osiris for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 5,430.11 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.