The United States of Printer931 is a colossal, orderly nation, remarkable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, ritual sacrifices, and compulsory vegetarianism. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.39 billion Printer931ians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Law & Order. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 86.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Printer931ian economy, worth 774 trillion cards a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Woodchip Exports, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 143,772 cards, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 412,806 per year while the poor average 39,817, a ratio of 10.4 to 1.

Government officials go door-to-door educating about the dangers of pseudoscience, citizens applying for their first jobs face fierce competition from the homeless, human resources employees have time for hobbies as harassment is designated "high praise", and ports have ground to a halt as no boat can reach them without trespassing. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Printer931's national animal is the legendary, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Printer931 is ranked 273,428^th in the world and 1,205^th in Two for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 36.31 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.