The United States of Printer883 is a colossal, orderly nation, notable for its closed borders, smutty television, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.367 billion Printer883ians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Industry, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 77.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Printer883ian economy, worth 803 trillion cards a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Information Technology, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 149,732 cards, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Both criminals and civilians are DOA, constituents prefer a carrot and boomstick approach to dealing with politicians, witnesses have to run a gauntlet of mob enforcers to testify at trials, and arthritic surgeons with tremulous fingers reassure patients that they are in safe hands. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Printer883's national animal is the legendary, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Printer883 is ranked 275,850^th in the world and 1,583^rd in Two for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 34.54 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.