The United States of Printer813 is a colossal, cultured nation, notable for its museums and concert halls, infamous sell-swords, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 5.38 billion Printer813ians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Industry, and Administration. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 85.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Printer813ian economy, worth 725 trillion cards a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Woodchip Exports, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an impressive 134,864 cards, with the richest citizens earning 9.1 times as much as the poorest.

The inside lane of every highway is for parked vehicles only, a mountain of discarded sofas and beds is incinerated every day, the government burgles the houses of holidaying citizens, and after every storm there's an expensive government-funded rainbow. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Printer813's national animal is the legendary, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Printer813 is ranked 98,069^th in the world and 2,093^rd in Two for Largest Populations, with 5.38 billion capita.