The United States of Printer554 is a colossal, efficient nation, remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, ubiquitous missile silos, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 5.468 billion Printer554ians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Law & Order, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 79.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Printer554ian economy, worth 865 trillion cards a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 158,326 cards, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Businesses often fire workers in favour of cheaper automatic systems, libraries are refusing to stock A Midsummer Night's Dream because it has an ass in it, a petition to make petitions important again has been deemed unimportant, and school children asked "what is two times two?" are likely to form a symposium to discuss how different answers make them feel. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Printer554's national animal is the legendary, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Printer554 is ranked 274,828^th in the world and 1,414^th in Two for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 35.23 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.