The United States of Printer534 is a colossal, cultured nation, remarkable for its parental licensing program, unlimited-speed roads, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.487 billion Printer534ians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Industry. The average income tax rate is 92.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Printer534ian economy, worth 751 trillion cards a year, is led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 136,882 cards, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.2 times as much as the poorest.

The recently bereaved have plenty of time to mourn during their incarcerations, bemused schoolkids colour in their favourite quadratic equations with crayons, a shocking number of estate planners are beneficiaries of their clients' wills, and grim instructresses lead the unwillingly impregnated in chants of "it's all my fault" and "blessed be the fruit". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Printer534's national animal is the legendary, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Printer534 is ranked 281,328^th in the world and 2,573^rd in Two for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 27.72 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.