The Kingdom of Primaskia is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Grand Dingler Josef Lenin with an iron fist, and notable for its pith helmet sales, compulsory military service, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 2.937 billion Primaskimen are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Administration, and Healthcare are also considered important, while Welfare and Social Policy aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Gnaygnoyp. The average income tax rate is 61.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Primaskian economy, worth 483 trillion green rocks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Retail. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 164,746 green rocks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Organ donation is compulsory, the might of the entire Primaskian Navy is focused on fifty bemused spear-throwing islanders, the national colors help to make everyone look slimmer, and the church encourages double-dipping. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force. Primaskia's national animal is the blobdog, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is sadism.

Primaskia is ranked 261,347^th in the world and 9,482^nd in Lazarus for Safest, scoring 11.97 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.