The Most Serene Republic of Northlandiae is a massive, cultured nation, notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, avowedly heterosexual populace, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, devout population of 2.397 billion Northlandiaeans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. The average income tax rate is 54.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The Northlandiaean economy, worth 109 trillion dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Gambling. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 45,515 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government is a law unto itself, the number of judges has tripled in recent months, school history books often refer to Leader as "that imperialist pig dog", and therapists dispense hugs for heroin dealers and cuddles for crackheads. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Northlandiae's national animal is the penguin, which can occasionally be seen avoiding garbage in the nation's murky oceans.

Northlandiae is ranked 266,419^th in the world and 9^th in Lisseum for Safest, scoring 9.31 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.