The Noob of Noob- is a massive, efficient nation, notable for its ban on automobiles, frequent executions, and strictly enforced bedtime. The compassionate, hard-working population of 4.928 billion Noob-ians are free to succeed or fail in life on their own merits; the successful tend to enjoy an opulent (but moralistic) lifestyle, while the failures can be seen crowding out most jails.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Dont Bully Noobs. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 13.2%.

The very strong Noob-ian economy, worth 261 trillion Noobs a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Cheese Exports industry, with significant contributions from Woodchip Exports, Tourism, and Retail. Average income is 53,002 Noobs, with the richest citizens earning 9.8 times as much as the poorest.

Weird kids who eat bugs are breaking the law, years of counter-terrorism planning are foiled by small details, the government snoops on private internet connections, and teachers prefer to give 'Maybe, Maybe Not' tests when dealing with sensitive subjects. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force. Noob-'s national animal is the Noob, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Noob- is ranked 83,470^th in the world and 1^st in Noob for Safest, scoring 88.9 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.