The Commonwealth of NEOWISE is a colossal, orderly nation, remarkable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, pith helmet sales, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 8.137 billion NEOWISEians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 39.6%.

The frighteningly efficient NEOWISEian economy, worth a remarkable 1,074 trillion Ices a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 132,058 Ices, with the richest citizens earning 5.7 times as much as the poorest.

Female newsreaders distract the nation by breastfeeding during broadcast, former nobles are being issued new identities in the wake of the end of serfdom, saying 'no homo' is enough to escape punishment for the crime of being gay, and troop transports blacken the sky as the military commences Operation Desert Ocean. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. NEOWISE's national animal is the Tail, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

NEOWISE is ranked 278,579^th in the world and 10,237^th in Balder for Most Cultured, scoring 52 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.