The Kingdom of Messapia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Leader with an even hand, and notable for its compulsory military service, restrictive gun laws, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 18.867 billion Messapians are free to succeed or fail in life on their own merits; the successful tend to enjoy an opulent (but moralistic) lifestyle, while the failures can be seen crowding out most jails.

The relatively small, moralistic, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Spirituality, Defense, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Brindisi. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 11.1%.

The very strong Messapian economy, worth a remarkable 1,142 trillion lire a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Gambling industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Automobile Manufacturing, and Pizza Delivery. Average income is 60,557 lire, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 184,991 per year while the poor average 15,365, a ratio of 12.0 to 1.

Voting is compulsory, Messapia has designated Brindisi as its capital city, Leader has just been declared ruler of Messapia in an international press conference, and a major religion has been named as Messapia's national religion. Crime is moderate, possibly because it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many regulations. Messapia's national animal is the eagle, which can occasionally be seen dodging aircraft in the nation's cities, and its national religion is a major religion.

Messapia is ranked 23,828^th in the world and 212^th in the South Pacific for Most Valuable International Artwork, with zero Bank.