The Republic of MALCE is a massive, socially progressive nation, notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 3.248 billion MALCEians enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Spirituality, Defense, and Law & Order. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 13.7%.

The strong MALCEian economy, worth 187 trillion rubledollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Basket Weaving industry, with major contributions from Retail, Automobile Manufacturing, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Average income is 57,850 rubledollars, with the richest citizens earning 8.2 times as much as the poorest.

The country's famous rainforests are being bulldozed by the mining industry, people believe that if you teach a man to fish he won't buy fish from you any more, colonial subjects have MALCEian culture shoved down their throats, and shady doctors seem to have impeccable records. Crime is moderate. MALCE's national animal is the hawk, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

MALCE is ranked 204,017^th in the world and 1^st in Yportne for Safest, scoring 38.25 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.