The United States of Lauramerica is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by John Matrix with an iron fist, and remarkable for its infamous sell-swords, irreverence towards religion, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 3.754 billion Lauramericans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sydney. The average income tax rate is 65.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Lauramerican economy, worth 474 trillion Laramerican dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Trout Farming. Average income is an impressive 126,312 Laramerican dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

The new iVote app allows representatives to vote on legislation by launching ill-tempered birds and matching candies, more sidewalk is dedicated to animals than people, people are careful to avoid hyperbolising that they'd "rather die" than support John Matrix, and the Man in the Plastic Mask has been imprisoned in the Capital Penitentiary. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lauramerica's national animal is the Cheetah, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Atheism.

Lauramerica is ranked 19,941^st in the world and 508^th in the South Pacific for Most Cultured, scoring 92 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.