The Empire of Lapsos is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Unus Qui Inanis with an iron fist, and renowned for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, ubiquitous missile silos, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 3.958 billion Lapsosians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Administration, Law & Order, and Spirituality also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of oblitus praeteritum. The average income tax rate is 50.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Lapsosian economy, worth 543 trillion Shards a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Basket Weaving. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is an impressive 137,286 Shards, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.8 times as much as the poorest.

Lapsosians believe a soft answer turneth away wrath but punitive punishment is much more fun, vacationing Lapsosians expect to be treated as royalty, in pet stores nationwide Beavers are growing in popularity, and governments opposing Lapsos are beset by rebels. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lapsos's national animal is the Beaver, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Oculus Inanis.

Lapsos is ranked 51,935^th in the world and 1,061^st in the South Pacific for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 3,816.24 on the Gilded Widget Scale.