The Ascended Kingdom of Khijovia is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Ascended King Arcadion II with an even hand, and renowned for its smutty television, strictly enforced bedtime, and infamous sell-swords. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 5.434 billion Khijovians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Klettoria. The average income tax rate is 77.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Khijovian economy, worth 861 trillion Shonnenors a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 158,475 Shonnenors, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Emigrants arrive on foreign shores with nothing but pocket sand, most believe it doesn't hurt to embrace free trade, parents seeking custody have to write a five-thousand word analysis of their child's imaginary friend, and construction of the Really Big Hadron Collider is underway. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Khijovia's national animal is the Grey Wolf, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Aravianism.

Khijovia is ranked 14,734^th in the world and 5^th in Sparkalia for Most Patriotic, with 54.56 flags saluted per person per day.