The Glorious Federation of Kelmdorp is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by President Toldarr Olagsson IV with an even hand, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, zero percent divorce rate, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 12.491 billion Kelmdorpians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Anarion. The average income tax rate is 77.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Kelmdorpian economy, worth a remarkable 1,418 trillion KFS Credits a year, is quite specialized and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an impressive 113,599 KFS Credits, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Scaffolding is built around scaffolding to give safe access, many friends and relatives of President Toldarr Olagsson IV have been given ambassador jobs in tropical island nations, a faint smell of body odour can be detected at several miles' distance from the National Science Park, and the arms industry is backed by government subsidies and harsh anti-protest laws are in place. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kelmdorp's national animal is the Dorpelhind, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Kelmdorp is ranked 3,593^rd in the world and 185^th in Lazarus for Safest, scoring 136.31 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.