The Holy Empire of Jaxtistan is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Jaxon with an iron fist, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, free-roaming dinosaurs, and zero percent divorce rate. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 2.037 billion Jaxtistanians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Llama City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 39.8%.

The very strong Jaxtistanian economy, worth 155 trillion Yuroes a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Basket Weaving, and Cheese Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 76,257 Yuroes, with the richest citizens earning 5.4 times as much as the poorest.

Confused-looking pigeons slide gently off frictionless window ledges, members of ethnic minorities are more often called "boy" or "girl" than by their actual names, super-powered zombies parade through the streets of Llama City, and there have been sightings of people walking around dressed in nothing but leopard-skin g-strings for 'religious reasons'. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Jaxtistan's national animal is the Quokka, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Stroganoffism.

Jaxtistan is ranked 27,979^th in the world and 1^st in Marlankana for Nicest Citizens, with 19.56 average smiles per day.