The Thief of Heister is a massive, pleasant nation, remarkable for its burgeoning Elephant population. The hard-working population of 3.651 billion Heisterians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 21.4%.

The Heisterian economy, worth 150 trillion Banks a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Door-to-door Insurance Sales, Furniture Restoration, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is 41,137 Banks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.6 times as much as the poorest.

Crime is relatively low, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Heister's national animal is the Elephant.

Heister is ranked 130,442^nd in the world and 4,357^th in Osiris for Most Armed, with 0.34 weapons per person.