The Republic of Hassali is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Masala Yavu with an even hand, and renowned for its compulsory military service, parental licensing program, and anti-smoking policies. The hard-nosed, devout population of 5.377 billion Hassalians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Rawama. The average income tax rate is 57.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Hassalian economy, worth 950 trillion Sheses a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 176,844 Sheses, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.9 times as much as the poorest.

Police officers often head to work wearing onesies and fluffy pink bunny-slippers, all gamers have been drafted into the military despite their lack of upper body strength, the military is on a massive recruiting drive in advance of an invasion of Brasilistan, and the nation's counterintelligence budget is all up in the air. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Hassali's national animal is the Lion, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Hassali is ranked 266,118^th in the world and 9,466^th in Balder for Nicest Citizens, with 0.68 average smiles per day.