The Empire of Hamstein-Holwig is a huge, safe nation, renowned for its national health service, public floggings, and zero percent divorce rate. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 639 million Hamstein-Holwigians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kriegstadt. The average income tax rate is 54.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but underdeveloped Hamstein-Holwigian economy, worth 17.7 trillion Francs a year, is quite specialized and led by the Automobile Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 27,693 Francs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

The nationalized auto industry is adept at making durable little cars nobody wants to drive, serial killers are the country's biggest import, beating enemies to death with a baseball bat is legal if done within nine innings, and legitimate job descriptions now include "smiling and waving". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Hamstein-Holwig's national animal is the Eagle, which can occasionally be seen dodging aircraft in the nation's cities.

Hamstein-Holwig is ranked 284,578^th in the world and 10,847^th in Balder for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -13.87 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.