The Republic of Hagoni is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by The Hagoni Labor Coalition with an even hand, and notable for its pith helmet sales, keen interest in outer space, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, democratic population of 9.249 billion Hagonians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bagusho. The average income tax rate is 69.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Hagonian economy, worth 580 trillion bahathis a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology and Cheese Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 62,717 bahathis, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Water fights now end with thousands dead, statues of famous citizens are erected or demolished on a purely partisan basis, the best-of-the-best athletes have been replaced by the best-of-the-mediocre, and the nation turns a blind eye to human rights abuses in its quest for athletic supremacy. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Hagoni's national animal is the Praying Mantis, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Hagoni is ranked 275,652^nd in the world and 3,969^th in the Pacific for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring -10.1 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.