The Panzer Empire of Garupan is a huge, efficient nation, ruled by Katyusha with an iron fist, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, smutty television, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 780 million Panzerlings are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ooarai City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 75.7%.

The strong Garupanian economy, worth 94.6 trillion Tank Dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Book Publishing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 121,238 Tank Dollars, with the richest citizens earning 7.8 times as much as the poorest.

The navy is hoping to hear the enemy shout "you sank my battleship!", enemy agents are generally eliminated with extreme prejudice, mums always ask their three-year-olds for permission before hugging them, and many say faith is a crutch for those who can't move forward. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Garupan's national animal is the Panzer, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Garupan is ranked 259,767^th in the world and 4,546^th in The East Pacific for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 43.04 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.