The Colony of Free is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Free4All with an even hand, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, compulsory military service, and compulsory vegetarianism. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 4.336 billion Freeans are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The tiny, pro-business government prioritizes Industry, although Education and Defense are also considered important, while Welfare and Spirituality aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Freeville. The average income tax rate is 7.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Freean economy, worth 454 trillion Levs a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Automobile Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Gambling, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an impressive 104,918 Levs, with the richest citizens earning 5.3 times as much as the poorest.

Government officials who do an offal job get smoked, fiscal policy hawks decry the sizable "panem et circenses" fund added to the public budget, taxpayer-funded government ads are promoting Brancaland as a premier filming location, and citizens receive notices of disenfranchisement along with their parking tickets. Crime, especially youth-related, is a serious problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Free's national animal is the Penguin, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways, and its national religion is Atheism.

Free is ranked 238,001^st in the world and 123^rd in Nederland for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 47.09 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.