The Holy Empire of Croatziam is a huge, efficient nation, notable for its teetotalling pirates, state-planned economy, and compulsory military service. The compassionate, devout population of 982 million Croatziamians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 69.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Croatziamian economy, worth 87.2 trillion guilders a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Automobile Manufacturing, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Tourism. Average income is 88,774 guilders, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Shelters struggle to keep up with the endless intake of stray animals, the thin blue line is composed of picketing police officers demanding better pensions, motorcycle riders are required to wear so much gear they've been nicknamed "Stay Pufts", and old folks reminisce about the last time someone was acquitted of a crime. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Croatziam's national animal is the crocodile.

Croatziam is ranked 207,482^nd in the world and 8,834^th in Osiris for Largest Populations, with 982 million capita.