The Republic of Craplander is a massive, safe nation, remarkable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, public floggings, and smutty television. The compassionate, democratic population of 4.539 billion Craplanderians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government prioritizes Education, although Healthcare, Welfare, and Environment are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Porcelain Palace. The average income tax rate is 90.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Craplanderian economy, worth 558 trillion florins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Basket Weaving. Average income is an impressive 122,995 florins, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Legislators must raise their hands if they want to speak, serial killers who are released early distribute death but not their seed, stealing from a clothesline is a serious offence, and the government helps teach children how to kill a man from six paces. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Craplander's national animal is the House Fly, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Craplander is ranked 280,559^th in the world and 10,774^th in Lazarus for Most Corrupt Governments, with 0.65 kickbacks per hour.