The Nomadic Peoples of Cannitan is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Sir Beans McCracken with an even hand, and remarkable for its daily referendums, rampant corporate plagiarism, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate population of 3.586 billion Cannitanians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Dolly Parton Dream-Village. The average income tax rate is 93.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Cannitanian economy, worth 280 trillion Fins a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is mostly comprised of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 78,143 Fins, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Children crying over dropped ice creams are offered high doses of experimental antidepressants, the CBI Channel Tunnel project is plagued by delays, fewer people are bathing as citizens must show ration stamps before they can turn on their faucets, and the best defense is a good fence. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cannitan's national animal is the Dolphin, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Giant Lasagna.

Cannitan is ranked 67,156^th in the world and 3,191^st in Osiris for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 50.99 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.