The Federal Kingdom of Canineia is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by King Fluffy with an iron fist, and renowned for its infamous sell-swords, irreverence towards religion, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 8.27 billion Canineians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous government prioritizes Healthcare, although Law & Order, Education, and Defense are also considered important, while Spirituality receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Canidae Harbour. The average income tax rate is 70.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The very strong Canineian economy, worth 453 trillion Bones a year, is highly specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 54,888 Bones, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Prisons are filled with the cackles and sobs of a deranged inmate population, workers have their fruitcake and eat it too, Canine sanctuaries have been taken over by hydraulic fracturing sites, and political talk shows often have children as guests whenever they need commentary on world religions. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Canineia's national animal is the Canine, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Satanism.

Canineia is ranked 128,960^th in the world and 35^th in Saint Helene for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 110.06 on the Clooney Contribution Index.