The Dominion of Calelaren is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Preacher Theodore Edwards with an even hand, and renowned for its teetotalling pirates, compulsory military service, and prohibition of alcohol. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 15.713 billion Calelarenians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Yimkichi. The average income tax rate is 91.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Calelarenian economy, worth a remarkable 1,735 trillion Rhoims a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized black market in Information Technology, Uranium Mining, Automobile Manufacturing, and Retail. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 110,423 Rhoims, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.9 times as much as the poorest.

Late night talk show hosts are having a field day over Preacher Theodore Edwards's questionably sane new coalition partners, politicians suffer insomnia after a former small-town mayor released her searing bestseller 'Deboning Political Turkeys: Primed for Minister', this year's hottest fashion trend is the Lese Majeste collection, and students returning from overseas study are questioning the status quo. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Calelaren's national animal is the dolphin and its national religion is the Church of Calelaren.

Calelaren is ranked 183,066^th in the world and 415^th in Talonia for Safest, scoring 52.96 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.