The People's Republic of CaenVar is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Chairman Tao Varian with an iron fist, and notable for its ban on automobiles, rampant corporate plagiarism, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 7.896 billion CaenVarians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Education, and Administration are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Caen Var City. The average income tax rate is 95.3%.

The frighteningly efficient CaenVarian economy, worth a remarkable 1,842 trillion Caens a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 233,331 Caens, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.4 times as much as the poorest.

Foreign governments regularly accuse the CaenVarian military of war crimes, military minds worry that 'the blue screen of death' on brand new operating systems may be a literal description, gift hampers filled with delicious beef jerky are sent to newly communist nations, and the military refers to helpless combatants offering surrender as "sitting ducks". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. CaenVar's national animal is the Caer, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Taoism Worship of the Chairman.

CaenVar is ranked 25,778^th in the world and 1,464^th in Lazarus for Most Cultured, scoring 84 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.