The Commonwealth of Barboneia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Prime Minister Ernesti Penttinen with an iron fist, and renowned for its parental licensing program, ubiquitous missile silos, and unlimited-speed roads. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 20.948 billion Barboneians are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The large, corrupt, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Pääkaupunki. The average income tax rate is 98.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Barboneian economy, worth a remarkable 6,701 trillion Barboneian Dollaris a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Retail. Average income is an amazing 319,903 Barboneian Dollaris, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,646,275 per year while the poor average 33,953, a ratio of 48.5 to 1.

Road rage is rarer but more terminal now that many people drive fully-operational battle tanks to work, the navy plans patrols according to how many pubs nearby ports have, satellite images show safe electoral constituencies in complete darkness, and politicians stage photo ops featuring barely functional fighter jets. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Barboneia's national animal is the walrus, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Barboneia is ranked 284,232^nd in the world and 8^th in Valkia for Most Beautiful Environments, with 4.51 pounds of wildlife per square mile.