The Dictatorship of Astonon is a huge, orderly nation, ruled by Ash with an iron fist, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, prohibition of alcohol, and strictly enforced bedtime. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 857 million Astononians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Administration, Law & Order, and Industry are also considered important, while International Aid and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Greatness. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 41.6%.

The strong Astononian economy, worth 65.9 trillion Goldoes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Gambling, and Retail. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 76,915 Goldoes, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 231,092 per year while the poor average 19,983, a ratio of 11.6 to 1.

Patriots insist that size does matter, carbon-footprint restrictions are making businesses walk, weathermen are being arrested for attempting to read the future, and children in school learn that marriage and slavery go hand in hand. Crime is a serious problem, possibly because it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many regulations. Astonon's national animal is the Mokoko, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Astonon is ranked 262,583^rd in the world and 10^th in Animus for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 42.18 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.