The Kingdom of Ascacia is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Jamie Harrison with an even hand, and renowned for its compulsory military service, zero percent divorce rate, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 8.179 billion Ascacians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Healthcare, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Valtela. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 26.4%.

The strong Ascacian economy, worth 560 trillion Ascacia coins a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Woodchip Exports industry, with major contributions from Basket Weaving, Gambling, and Automobile Manufacturing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 68,475 Ascacia coins, with the richest citizens earning 7.2 times as much as the poorest.

People are more interested in gossip about the private lives of politicians than their policies, armed war-criminals gain asylum if deemed 'fabulous' enough, dog owners proudly declare that their pups can predict when the mailman will arrive, and twelfth-generation Ascacians are deported for not knowing Jamie Harrison's childhood nickname. Crime, especially youth-related, is almost non-existent, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ascacia's national animal is the Emperor penguin, which can occasionally be seen avoiding garbage in the nation's murky oceans, and its national religion is Verdusa Catholic.

Ascacia is ranked 36,877^th in the world and 55^th in Coalition of Crown Albatross for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 51.96 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.