The Queendom of Alpena is a gargantuan, pleasant nation, remarkable for its burgeoning deer population. The hard-working population of 14.905 billion Alpenans have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Public Transport, and Education are also considered important, while International Aid isn't funded at all. The average income tax rate is 16.7%.

The Alpenan economy, worth 680 trillion betales a year, is led by the Soda Sales industry, with major contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Uranium Mining, and Cheese Exports. Average income is 45,684 betales, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.6 times as much as the poorest.

Voting is voluntary. Crime is moderate. Alpena's national animal is the deer.

Alpena is ranked 118,148^th in the world and 406^th in Ancient Lands for Most Armed, with 0.36 weapons per person.