The Constitutional Empire of Zurkerx is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by President Dmitri Covasku III with a fair hand, and renowned for its smutty television, complete lack of prisons, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 34.326 billion Zurks live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, corrupt, liberal, pro-business government, or what there is of one, is primarily concerned with Defense, with Industry and Education also on the agenda, while Environment and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Moskova. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Zurk economy, worth an astonishing 21,821 trillion Zureus a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Soda Sales, and Gambling. Average income is a breathtaking 635,723 Zureus, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,860,756 per year while the poor average 87,152, a ratio of 32.8 to 1.

Homeless people can be found sleeping on streets in front of unoccupied second homes, President Dmitri Covasku III's reputation is hard as nails, Zurk TV is considered cruel and unusual punishment in other countries, and students are explicitly allowed to write answers on their forearms before exams. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Zurkerx's national animal is the Buffalo, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Atheism.

Zurkerx is ranked 1,150^th in the world and 1^st in Zentari for Smartest Citizens, with 245.77 quips per hour.