The Constitutional Empire of Zurkerx is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by President Dmitri Covasku III with a fair hand, and remarkable for its pith helmet sales, sprawling nuclear power plants, and infamous sell-swords. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 18.043 billion Zurks enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

The minute, corrupt, liberal, pro-business government, or what there is of one, is dominated by the Department of Defense, with Industry and Education also on the agenda, while Environment and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Moskova. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Zurk economy, worth an astonishing 10,668 trillion Zureus a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Soda Sales, Retail, and Gambling. Average income is a breathtaking 591,303 Zureus, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 4,461,452 per year while the poor average 22,227, a ratio of 200 to 1.

Elevator music has been replaced by thrash metal played at maximum volume, citizens are encouraged to report friends, family members or co-workers who seem depressed to the government for "counselling", people are bored of easy crossword puzzles, and hammering a nail into a wall is an effective death sentence. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, probably because of the absence of a police force. Zurkerx's national animal is the Buffalo, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Atheism.

Zurkerx is ranked 979^th in the world and 1^st in Zentari for Smartest Citizens, with 213.39 Quips Per Hour.