The Free Land of Wintony is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by The Chairman with a fair hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, complete lack of prisons, and sprawling nuclear power plants. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 29.454 billion Wintonians enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The medium-sized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Education, Healthcare, and Public Transport also on the agenda, while Spirituality and International Aid aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Wintopedia. The average income tax rate is 90.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Wintonian economy, worth a remarkable 5,439 trillion smallers a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Information Technology, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 184,665 smallers, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

The deaf are perplexed when the weather report tells them that the wind will be "bringing some rain along the Nazi ghosts", citizens praise the weeds that overwhelm their narrow vegetable realm, roadside walls are being built and mother nature is paying for it, and traumatised refugees have a full bedpan shoved into their hands along with their immigration papers. Crime, especially youth-related, is moderate, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Wintony's national animal is the Colossus, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Wintony is ranked 256,232^nd in the world and 1^st in The Council of Noteworthy Nations for Most Conservative, scoring 31.33 on the Bush-Santorum Dawning Terror Index.