The Kingdom of Wellsia is a titanic, efficient nation, ruled by Andalvar with an iron fist, and notable for its museums and concert halls, infamous sell-swords, and zero percent divorce rate. The hard-nosed, cynical, cheerful, devout population of 22.35 billion Wellsians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Oppidium. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 12.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Wellsian economy, worth a remarkable 6,068 trillion Scales a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is dominated by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 271,501 Scales, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 937,872 per year while the poor average 57,482, a ratio of 16.3 to 1.

Petting zoos have loose fingers strewn about, government popup ads are springing up like weeds, 13-year-old internet trolls are treated as a threat on par with terrorists, and among slaves 'bastard' is an honorific rather than an insult. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Wellsia's national animal is the Dolphin, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Saculeum.

Wellsia is ranked 316,124^th in the world and 165^th in The Western Isles for Highest Drug Use, scoring 0.47 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.