The Leopardish Kinric of Valoptia is a mammoth, cultured nation, ruled by Asher Wiley with an iron fist, and remarkable for its infamous sell-swords, avowedly heterosexual populace, and ban on automobiles. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 9.67 billion Valoptians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Education, Law & Order, and Administration are also considered important, while Welfare and International Aid receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Osearwynn. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Valoptian economy, worth a remarkable 7,079 trillion pounds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Book Publishing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 732,152 pounds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.4 times as much as the poorest.

Politicians accepting drinks in bars are executed for taking bribes, hipster cyclists declare that "metal is dead", every new building project has to undergo a five-year environmental impact study before it can go ahead, and grannies with arthritic hands work miserably on factory production lines. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Valoptia's national animal is the snow leopard, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Adoptionism.

Valoptia is ranked 409^th in the world and 2^nd in The Order of the Grey Wardens for Longest Average Lifespans, with 98.06 years.