The Republic of Valkea is a titanic, safe nation, ruled by President Afanasi Koski with a fair hand, and renowned for its parental licensing program, anti-smoking policies, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic population of 19.808 billion Valkeans love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The large, socially-minded, outspoken government prioritizes Education, with Welfare, Industry, and Administration also on the agenda, while Spirituality is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Källälivi. The average income tax rate is 86.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Valkean economy, worth a remarkable 2,811 trillion Kruunus a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 141,948 Kruunus, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

There have been sightings of people walking around dressed in nothing but leopard-skin g-strings for 'religious reasons', exports are stamped with "made by the invisible hand you commies", thieves insist the wind blew that purse into their hands, and juries deliberate more than magic 8-balls. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Valkea's national animal is the Valkean Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Valkea is ranked 174,250^th in the world and 5^th in Astyria for Most Extensive Civil Rights, with 48 Martin Luther King, Jr. Units.