The Anxious Customers of Utopia Beach is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Augustus with a fair hand, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, frequent executions, and infamous sell-swords. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 10.617 billion Anxious Customers hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Anxiety Cafe City. The average income tax rate is 84.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Anxious economy, worth a remarkable 1,129 trillion Soliduses a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Trout Farming, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 106,413 Soliduses, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

There is a dearth of space for new houses, late night adverts for breast milk co-ops regularly win pornography industry awards, clumsy self-injury is a viable claim in modern compensation culture, and 'A is for Annulment' is a popular children's song. Crime is totally unknown. Utopia Beach's national animal is the Canis Lupus Italicus, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Roman Catholicism.

Utopia Beach is ranked 19,950^th in the world and 1,159^th in Osiris for Nicest Citizens, with 22.56 average smiles per day.