The Teuton Hercynian Vòlksrīhhi of The Republic of Ardenhelm is a mammoth, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by King Udo with an iron fist, and notable for its public floggings, rampant corporate plagiarism, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 8.905 billion Ardenians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Environment, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Arizforastasterroburg. The average income tax rate is 51.0%.

The powerhouse Republic of Ardenhelmian economy, worth 408 trillion Kroner a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Basket Weaving. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 45,878 Kroner, with the richest citizens earning 5.3 times as much as the poorest.

The Republic of Ardenhelm isn't what it used to be, no one can find a leaky faucet in The Republic of Ardenhelm anymore, puppies given out free in marketing promotions are often tossed straight into the trash, and teens are voting on which C-List pop star will be next to be evicted from the opera house. Crime, especially youth-related, is relatively low, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Republic of Ardenhelm's national animal is the Great Snēoheida Reindeer, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

The Republic of Ardenhelm is ranked 322,691^st in the world and 17,475^th in Osiris for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring -15.87 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.