The Confederacy of The Griffin Republic is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by President Joffrey David with an even hand, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, public floggings, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 13.849 billion Republican Frenchmen are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The tiny, corrupt, moralistic government prioritizes Defense, with Industry, Spirituality, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Environment and Social Policy are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bordeaux. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 2.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Republican French economy, worth a remarkable 3,480 trillion Griffin Francs a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an amazing 251,335 Griffin Francs, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,528,574 per year while the poor average 18,339, a ratio of 83.3 to 1.

Military spending is on the increase, several citizens have complained about scientists abducting their pets for experimentation, women mime their gynaecological symptoms with hand-puppets, and restaurants have noticed that hanging wet laundry from the ceiling makes diners order more food. Crime is a major problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. The Griffin Republic's national animal is the Griffin, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Catholicism.

The Griffin Republic is ranked 7,926^th in the world and 144^th in Europe for Most Cultured, scoring 133 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.