The Confederacy of The Griffin Republic is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by President Joffrey David with an even hand, and remarkable for its zero percent divorce rate, enslaved workforce, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 9.939 billion Republican Frenchmen are free to succeed or fail in life on their own merits; the successful tend to enjoy an opulent (but moralistic) lifestyle, while the failures can be seen crowding out most jails.

The tiny, corrupt, moralistic, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bordeaux. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 2.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Republican French economy, worth a remarkable 2,306 trillion Griffin Francs a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is notable. Average income is an amazing 232,066 Griffin Francs, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,644,621 per year while the poor average 10,929, a ratio of 150 to 1.

Six-year-old children playing dress-up are viewed with suspicion, bars are packed at all hours, nursing mothers are often arrested for indecent exposure, and attempted suicide is punishable by public hanging. Crime is a problem, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. The Griffin Republic's national animal is the Griffin, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Catholicism.

The Griffin Republic is ranked 257,196^th in the world and 1,251^st in Europe for Least Corrupt Governments, with 0.95 percentage of bribes refused.