The Army of Stretchington is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by General Stretch with an iron fist, and renowned for its state-planned economy, vat-grown people, and avant-garde cinema. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 27.622 billion Stretchingtonians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is dominated by the Department of Defense, with Law & Order, Education, and Administration also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Beaverton. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Stretchingtonian economy, worth an astonishing 13,114 trillion Dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 474,776 Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

The government is hounded to provide tissues whenever the feelings of the Dàguó people are hurt, relations with Merovingia are as cold as Stretchington's skill with the blade, the government is accused of being heartless by those considered brainless, and moles make up an incredible part of the upper crust. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Stretchington's national animal is the blackhawk, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is The Cult of Stretch.

Stretchington is ranked 56,707^th in the world and 5^th in The LCRUA for Rudest Citizens, with 77.11 insults per minute.