The Constitutional Monarchy of Stachelland is a massive, socially progressive nation, ruled by Josh Ranti with an even hand, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, irreverence towards religion, and suspicion of poets. The hard-working population of 1.759 billion Stachelians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The tiny government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Dystrva. The average income tax rate is 9.2%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The strong Stachellandian economy, worth 118 trillion Stachells a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Furniture Restoration, Automobile Manufacturing, and Tourism. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 66,830 Stachells, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

Social media sites prompt users to send birthday greetings to unresponsive nonagenarians, news headlines suggest that Josh Ranti has a sideline in guinea pig pimping, cyber-crime and tin-foil hat sales are both increasing at record rates, and diminutive Stachellandian generals are feared for their aggressiveness. Crime, especially youth-related, is well under control. Stachelland's national animal is the animal, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Stachelland is ranked 140,188^th in the world and 7,943^rd in Balder for Most Developed, scoring 56.85 on the Human Development Index.