The Footballing Republic of Slembana is a titanic, socially progressive nation, ruled by Thomas Vallwick with a fair hand, and remarkable for its otherworldly petting zoo, sprawling nuclear power plants, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 10.124 billion Slembanans are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The medium-sized, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bafilo. The average income tax rate is 85.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Slembanan economy, worth a remarkable 1,672 trillion Diloes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Soda Sales. Average income is an impressive 165,154 Diloes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Politicians have tenure, Slembanan tourists are encouraged to hand out spare condoms to locals while on vacation, a government program is underway to revitalize Slembana's beaches, and the cloud has been dealt a fouled hand. Crime, especially youth-related, is moderate, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Slembana's national animal is the Afra Bird, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Football.

Slembana is ranked 296,383^rd in the world and 45^th in Esportiva for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 20.22 on the Bus Surprisal Index.