The Great Kingdom of Schwyzeln is a titanic, cultured nation, ruled by Queen Charlotte with an even hand, and remarkable for its national health service, frequent executions, and prohibition of alcohol. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 10.505 billion Schwyzelns are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lienzburg. The average income tax rate is 13.7%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Schwyzeln economy, worth a remarkable 1,946 trillion Vereinsthalers a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Retail. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 185,304 Vereinsthalers, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

Everything stops come summertime, subsistence farmers require doctorates in applied sowing, rural communities are all but disenfranchised as politicians focus all their attention on winning the deciding urban votes, and military equipment stores have a tendency to go up in flames. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Schwyzeln's national animal is the Pallas's cat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Lumierism.

Schwyzeln is ranked 281,163^rd in the world and 1^st in Schwyzeln Realm for Highest Drug Use, scoring 29.33 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.