The Commonwealth of Saelmstica is a mammoth, safe nation, ruled by Steward Tetika Supaul with an even hand, and notable for its vat-grown people, state-planned economy, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic, devout population of 6.647 billion Saelmsticans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Konesia. The average income tax rate is 87.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Saelmstican economy, worth 715 trillion Saelmstican Credits a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Trout Farming. Average income is an impressive 107,663 Saelmstican Credits, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

All Saelmsticans live like kings, a certain animated paperclip is enjoying his sunset years at the government's expense, politicians who misplace decimal points on expense reports are fired for gross incompetence, and a revolving door was recently installed at the entrance of the Saelmstican Capitol Building. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Saelmstica's national animal is the Tortoise, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Freedom of Religion.

Saelmstica is ranked 322,573^rd in the world and 17,247^th in Lazarus for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 20.2 on the Bus Surprisal Index.