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Issue No. 3: Harry Potter Censorship Row. Option 2: The latest Harry Potter book is a bestseller.

Issue No. 6: Nudists Demand Time in Sun. Option 1: Citizens can be frequently spotted going about their business stark naked.

Issue No. 7: Animal Liberation Front Strikes Again. Option 1: Animal Liberationists are regularly arrested.

Issue No. 10: Social Inequality Reaching Embarrassing Levels. Option 1: The streets are increasingly clogged with poverty-stricken beggars.

Issue No. 14: Military Demands Increased Spending. Option 1: Military spending is on the increase.

Issue No. 17: Corporations Demand Political Say. Option 1: Corporations donate huge sums of money to favored politicians.

Issue No. 20: Gunman Kills Three. Option 4: A valid legal defense is 'dead men tell no tales'.

Issue No. 21: Police Consider "Big Brother" Anti-Crime System. Option 1: Surveillance cameras are banned.

Issue No. 22: Nazi Sympathizers Plan Rally. Option 2: The tenet of free speech is held dear.

Issue No. 24: Budget Time: Accountants Excited. Option 4: Citizens are enjoying a recent large cut in taxes.

Issue No. 27: Cash for Colons? Option 1: College students make ends meet by selling their kidneys.

Issue No. 28: Cancer Sufferer Demands Euthanasia Bill. Option 3: Euthanasia is illegal.

Issue No. 29: Minorities Demand Representation in TV Soaps. Option 3: The alarmingly racist TV show 'Bigtopians Say the Darndest Things' is a hit.

Issue No. 30: Auto Industry Struggles Against Foreign Imports. Option 1: Punitive tariffs protect local industry.

Issue No. 35: Refugees Want to Call Yibrak Home. Option 3: Shanty towns are forming in the suburbs of major cities.

Issue No. 36: International Community Comes Doorknocking. Option 3: The government extracts trade concessions from poor nations in exchange for humanitarian aid.

Issue No. 37: Traffic Cops Needed on Information Superhighway? Option 3: Anti-government web sites are springing up.

Issue No. 38: Yibrak Looks to the Stars. Option 2: The nation's first space rocket -- sponsored by Eckie-Ecola and shaped like an enormous soda bottle -- is being developed.

Issue No. 47: The Great Wall of Yibrak? Option 3: The controversial show 'Who Wants to be an Immigrant?' has become wildly popular.

Issue No. 55: Bigtopian Protesters Cry for Full Integration. Option 1: Government police forces protect public schools from the threat of protest.

Issue No. 61: Should the Government Grant Estates and Titles of Nobility? Option 4: Yibrak's Medieval Faire is renowned as one of the best in the region.

Issue No. 63: Tykes With Tools? Option 2: Children as young as eight can be found working in factories.

Issue No. 65: Should Martial Law Be Declared? Option 3: Ad hoc militias patrol the streets in an effort to control rampant crime.

Issue No. 66: Transgender Recognition Demanded. Option 3: Women wearing male lounge-wear are quizzed for hours by mental health practitioners.

Issue No. 68: Ornery Overcrowding Problem. Option 1: The government regularly hires contractors to construct high rise apartments.

Issue No. 69: Power Problems Need Bright Solution. Option 3: Protesters are up in arms over new nuclear power stations. (Nuclear Power policy activated.)

Issue No. 74: Yibraki’s Racers Growing Fast and Furious. Option 1: The Yibraki Automotive Racing Series draws millions of spectators annually while those near the tracks complain about the noise.

Issue No 76: Suits in Protest. Option 3: Protests are prohibited from blocking traffic.

Issue No. 86: Save the Duck. Option 1: In pet stores nationwide ducks are growing in popularity.

Issue No. 90: Organic Outburst. Option 2: A survey of the nation's rivers and children has shown that pesticide levels are at an all-time regional high.

Issue No. 95: Painful Prices Paid at the Pump. Option 1: Pristine wilderness has been trashed in the quest for cheaper oil.

Issue No. 107: Private Lab Holds Yibrak’s Sick to Ransom. Option 1: Only the rich can afford the latest medical innovations.

Issue No. 113: Test Results Deemed ‘Ungood’ After Global Survey. Option 3: The education system is famed for its taxing exams.

Issue No. 114: Wipe Out Graffiti? Option 2: Graffiti graces every city's streets.

Issue No. 116: Soda Sales Hits New 'High'. Option 1: 'Mountain Doobie' is widely regarded as the nation's favourite drink.

Issue No. 119: Watershed Down? Option 1: Programmes of questionable content are shown at peak-hours.

Issue No. 121: A Uniform Plan for Yibrak’s Students? Option 2: Students are known to arrive at school in their pyjamas.

Issue No. 132: World Assembly Woes. Option 2: Dozens of additional foreign policy specialists have been sent to the country's WA Mission.

Issue No. 140: A Grave Problem. Option 4: The dead are minced up and sold to people in burger form.

Issue No. 143: An Archaeological Altercation. Option 3: Archaeological discoveries are often followed by mysterious hamster abductions.

Issue No. 146: Evolution: Truth or Witchcraft? Option 2: The teaching of evolution has been banned.

Issue No. 147: Military Budgets Up for Approval. Option 2: The nation's massive battleships are often mistaken for islands.

Issue No. 150: Bug ‘Em All, Say Police. Option 1: Phone taps are frequently carried out by the police.

Issue No. 151: Build Bigger Bombs, Advise Scientists. Option 2: The nation has recently been attributed to the funding of terrorist organisations.

Issue No. 161: Where There’s a Will There’s a Tax. Option 2: Inheritance tax has recently been abolished.

Issue No. 163: Referenda: Are They Right for Yibrak? Option 2: Referenda are banned by law and the Parliament has absolute control of the legislative process.

Issue No. 166: Vote for ‘None of the Above’? Option 2: Voters must frequently select what they view as the lesser of two evils on the ballot.

Issue No. 167: Fluoride Controversy a Toothy Problem. Option 2: The public health bureaucracy is wrapped in miles of red tape.

Issue No. 171: Kids and Criminality. Whose Responsibility? Option 2: The nation's youth is held blameless for all crimes.

Issue No. 181: Radio Rebels Ruffle Government. Option 1: 'The Anti-Government Hour' is a popular programme on many of Yibrak's radio stations.

Issue No. 183: Buy a Better Baby? Option 4: Yibrak's army is full of two-metre tall super-soldiers.

Issue No. 186: Carjacking Concerns. Option 2: Citizens drive tank-like vehicles with mounted machine guns.

Issue No. 187: Underclass Drowning in Debt. Option 3: University graduates and new home-owners toil in labour camps to work off their debts.

Issue No. 188: Video Games Too Violent, Say Parents. Option 3: Only adults may purchase violent video games.

Issue No. 194: A Request for Military Aid. Option 3: The country has been 'going shopping' by annexing nearby nations for their resources.

Issue No. 197: Breastfeeding in Public: Innocent or Indecent? Option 1: Female newsreaders distract the nation by breastfeeding during broadcast.

Issue No. 229: Government Saturated in Corruption. Option 2: The government has enacted freedom of information.

Issue No. 240: Plea Bargains: Tipping the Scales of Justice? Option 2: Innocent defendants often plead guilty for fear of receiving a much harsher sentence before jury.

Issue No. 241: A Capital City for Yibrak?. Option 5: The government has adopted a more thrifty attitude to administrating the country's needs.

Issue No. 242: Follow the Leader. Option 5: Leader has been known to threaten dissenting citizens with a machine gun at press conferences.

Issue No. 243: A Question of Faith. Option 1: Orthodox has been named as Yibrak's national religion.

Issue No. 246: Yibrak to Hold the Olympic Torch?. Option 3: The importance of winning Olympic gold medals is indoctrinated from an early age.

Issue No. 259: A Taste of Revenge. Option 2: The nation's new foreign policy of 'very disproportionate retribution' has its neighbors on edge.

Issue No. 261: Plastic, Plastic Everywhere. Option 4: The entire retail industry has been replaced by online delivery services.

Issue No. 262: Sticks and Stones. Option 2: Violently opinionated speakers can be heard preaching their hateful views on every street corner.

Issue No. 265: To Bail or Not to Bail? Option 2: Thousands of former welfare recipients are in a revolutionary uproar as the rest of society is enjoying a hefty tax break.

Issue No. 267: Controversial Coup Causes Commotion. Option 1: The government is pouring money into 'Operation Enduring Democracy'.

Issue No. 271: Vigilantes: Heroes or Hoodlums? Option 2: Embarrassed police officers wear spandex and carry net guns.

Issue No. 273: Is Our Children Learning? Option 4: Wealthy students ride to school past mendicant dropouts.

Issue No. 276: Circus Clowns Cause Chaos! Option 3: Clowns are being rounded up and admitted to mental institutions.

Issue No. 282: Slum Village Extraordinaire. Option 3: Many of the poor live from cradle to grave without ever seeing sunlight.

Issue No. 288: Super-Sized Pizzas Recipe for Disaster? Option 4: The government props up questionable pizza establishments in the name of health.

Issue No. 291: A Question of Sport. Option 3: Tourists are kicked out if they express interest in their national sport.

Issue No. 294: Ghost Riders on the Sly. Option 3: Laws are littered with references to cheese.

Issue No. 297: Intersex Athletes Demand Level Playing Field. Option 4: Hairdressers are among those who have disappeared overnight. (Heterosexuality policy activated.)

Issue No. 298: Cults: Harmless or Heretics? Option 3: Young people crowd pizza parlors praying to 'The Supreme Pizza, His Immaculate Munchiness'.

Issue No. 302: Delivering Mayhem in Thirty Minutes or Less! Option 3: City rooftops are pockmarked with the shattered remains of high velocity delivery drones.

Issue No. 308: Over, Under or Through? Option 1: Yibraki Barrier Island residents anxiously await their 'Bridge to Somewhere'.

Issue No. 312: The Empire Strikes First? Option 3: The nation is reliant on the principle of mutually assured destruction to maintain its security.

Issue No. 317: Big Brother Is Watching You Surf. Option 2: Cyber-crime and tin-foil hat sales are both increasing at record rates.

Issue No. 319: Sizing Up the Competition. Option 2: The populace harbors a fierce hatred of the metric system.

Issue No. 321: Cowboys and... Aliens? Option 2: Immigrant herding has become a national pastime.

Issue No. 329: Military Uniforms Under Scrutiny. Option 4: Soldiers are equipped with multi-million bitcoin battlesuits.

Issue No. 341: Where in the Woods Is Cindy SanFrancisco? Option 4: Groups of three or more trees are cut down in the name of 'child safety'.

Issue No. 342: This Land Was Made for You and Me. Option 4: Residents of newly dried out bays live in fear of leaky dikes.

Issue No. 347: Crime Problems Ganging Up on Yibrak. Option 1: Rap artists are regularly arrested for promoting extremist groups.

Issue No. 351: The Cost of Freedom. Option 1: Well-off serial killers write monthly checks to avoid jail time.

Issue No. 356: Yibrak in the Time of Cholera. Option 1: The nation is now proudly cholera-free.

Issue No. 378: The War to End All Wars. Option 2: Historical commemorations regularly devolve into militaristic jingoism.

Issue No. 384: Out of the Royal Frying Pan. Option 1: Governments opposing Yibrak are beset by rebels.

Issue No. 386: Droning On and On. Option 1: Warfare increasingly resembles a video game.

Issue No. 413: A Shot in the Arm. Option 2: Vaccinations are mandatory.

Issue No. 417: Hush... Hush, Sweet Charlotte. Option 3: Saying "don't do anything that Leader wouldn't do" doesn't exclude a great deal.

Issue No. 425: Teach Your Farmers Well. Option 1: Even the nation's brussel sprouts are delicious and nutritious.

Issue No. 428: Crop Circles Clutter Union City. Option 3: It is a crime to operate a combine harvester while intoxicated.

Issue No. 440: Jumping the Sharknado. Option 2: Tax-payers are funding ever more extravagant movie projects.

Issue No. 446: In the Land of Milk and Money? Option 3: Breast milk lattes are the newest fad among hip urbanites.

Issue No. 448: It Takes a Village. Option 3: The Yibraki Babysitters Club has proven to be a huge relief to stressed-out parents across the nation.

Issue No. 449: A Big Fracking Problem. Option 3: Duck sanctuaries have been taken over by hydraulic fracturing sites.

Issue No. 452: Foetal Furore. Option 2: Pro-life activists often lecture pregnant women undergoing routine prenatal screening.

Issue No. 454: Don’t Stead on Me! Option 2: Chickens roam the streets freely.

Issue No. 456: Heads Will Roll. Option 1: Biker gangs and fashionistas are converting to the Tranquility of Yellow en masse.

Issue No. 457: Colossus With Feet of Clay. Option 1: Tourists flock to see the giant stone carvings of historical leaders at Mount Rushless.

Issue No. 458: Bigtopian Lives Matter. Option 3: Officer recruitment and police brutality have reached an all-time high.

Issue No. 466: Yibrak Is Never Ever Getting Back Together... Like Ever. Option 1: The military patrols the streets in search of possible secessionists.

Issue No. 467: Saving Your Own Foreskin. Option 1: Back-alley circumcision clinics are popping up all over the nation.

Issue No. 473: A-B-C, Easy as Don’t Use Me. Option 3: Children are expected to carve their own toys.

Issue No. 474: Mesozoic Park. Option 1: Sexually-starved male dinosaurs terrorise tourists during weekly breakouts from Mesozoic Park.

Issue No. 477: Feeding Frenzy. Option 4: Heart attacks are regarded as a coming of age ritual.

Issue No. 479: Leader, Put on the Yellow Light. Option 3: Conspiracy theorists allege Yibrak City's new subway map resembles Satanic symbols.

Issue No. 486: An Impressing Dilemma. Option 2: The army lures cannon fodder with promises of a college education.

Issue No. 493: Suspicious Superhuman Athletes? Option 3: Yibraki athletes are close to breaking the 2 minute mile and the 16 meter long jump.

Issue No. 504: Short Shorts Too Short? Option 3: Young girls and senior citizens alike can be spotted wearing colorful short shorts.

Issue No. 509: It Was Asbestos Times, It Was the Worst of Times. Option 1: Citizens are abandoning their homes en masse in a widespread panic over asbestos.

Issue No. 512: Furnished for Failure. Option 4: Personal injury lawyers are demanding compensation from the government after recent reductions in manufacturer liability.

Issue No. 514: Contract Killer. Option 1: Murder is sanctioned if the legal paperwork is filled out correctly.

Issue No. 520: Preach With Me if You Want to Live. Option 4: The military's primary weapons are fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, and a fanatical devotion to Orthodox.

Issue No. 521: The Wreck of the Edward Fitzpatrick. Option 5: Meteorologists are instantly recognizable from their luxury cars and jewelry.

Issue No. 522: Time to Get Serious. Option 3: It turns out that money can buy you happiness.

Issue No. 524: Something Is Rotten in the State of Yibrak. Option 4: Excessive gerrymandering has earned Yibrak the nickname 'The Democratic Dictatorship'.

Issue No. 525: Nowhere to Go! Option 2: An Osiris Tourist Association survey has rated Yibrak #1 for number twos.

Issue No. 526: Any Idea Where the Law Is, Bessie? Option 4: Farmers' market days almost always end in a shooting.

Issue No. 538: Chairman, Let Your People Go! Option 1: Over a third of the seats in sports stadiums have been removed to make room for female-only commodes.

Issue No. 545: Expats on the Electoral Roll? Option 2: Vacationers and business travelers are often warned that they may lose the right to vote if they spend too much time overseas.

Issue No. 548: Appointment of a Science Advisor. Option 2: Every new toxic waste dump comes with a seal of approval from the government's science advisor.

Issue No. 552: Must Be a Full Moon. Option 2: Tourists visit Yibrak to mass-moon Yibraki politicians.

Issue No. 553: Cede Our Seeds? Option 2: The new "Bloodbath" orange tree autonomously seeks and destroys independent orchards.

Issue No. 556: Here Be Dragons? Option 2: All fantasy fiction has officially been deemed non-canon.

Issue No. 557: Take a Hike! Option 2: The hills are alive with the sound of ringtones.

Issue No. 564: Do Good Intentions Make Good Samaritans? Option 3: Bands of paramedics walk the streets looking for suspicious medical activity.

Issue No. 567: Syntax Destruction. Option 3: When people ask what the difference is between politicians and lawyers they are referred to document c15(iv) section 14.1 subsection 3.2 of the Jan 2015 political category definition guidance codes.

Issue No. 572: Reading, Your Rights. Option 1: Nobody is allowed to stop the local daycare from reading Nietzsche to pre-schoolers.

Issue No. 579: Real Handwriting Has Curves. Option 1: Urban graffiti is hand-calligraphed in perfectly kerned elegant fonts.

Issue No. 580: Yibrak Taking Leave of Its Census? Option 2: No personal detail is too tiny for the suede-denim census police.

Issue No. 598: A Violet Trojan Horse. Option 3: Burning members of the Order of Violet is the nation's favorite pastime. (Capital Punishment policy activated.)

Issue No. 601: Lawyers on Trial. Justice is available only to those who can afford its price tag.

Issue No. 608: Thrown Into Sharp Relief. Option 1: Doctors prescribe medicines but they rarely dispense hope or compassion.

Issue No. 610: Only Leader Could Go to Dàguó. Option 4: Recent events in Dàguó have been classified 'for Leader's eyes only'.

Issue No. 620: No Such Thing as a Free Lunch. Option 3: Food voucher forgeries are causing headaches for the police.

Issue No. 624: A Role to Play. Option 3: Taking hostages is a great way to influence government policy.

Issue No. 626: Carbon Copied. Option 2: Citizens often ask "what has information technology ever done for us?".

Issue No. 632: Dying for a Kiss. Option 1: Immigrants who don't like the taste of Yibraki Turnip Chips are immediately deported.

Issue No. 636: Going on the Cyber Offensive. Option 3: The opposition leader's credibility has been undermined by constant attention drawn to a dodgy toupee.

Issue No. 638: Won’t Somebody Think Of The Children? Option 3: It's a hard-knock life for the orphans doing factory work for a pittance. (Child Labor policy activated.)

Issue No. 641: Dirty Little Minds. Option 4: Corrupt industrial practices are spreading like a plague.

Issue No. 646: Lesson Learnt. Option 2: Prison libraries are being replaced with interrogation chambers.

Issue No. 648: Confessions of a Dangerous Mind. Cassocked priests and choirboys believe that what happens behind closed doors stays behind closed doors.

Issue No. 650: Political Hacks. Option 1: Drill sergeants yell in the ears of bespectacled nerds in cybermilitary "reboot camps".

Issue No. 652: Mayday! Mayday! Option 1: Whenever pilots have to bail out the government bails out their company.

Issue No. 655: No Bones About It. Option 4: The army is spending millions cloning khaki-colored dinosaurs.

Issue No. 664: Your Land or Mine. Option 3: Indigenous tribal elders can be recognized by their designer watches and expensive suits.

Issue No. 668: How to Examine Your Testees. Option 3: Home education can sometimes be a load of bullocks.

Issue No. 675: Trick or Treaty. Option 3: Carbon-footprint restrictions are making businesses walk.

Issue No. 677: Dial L for Loan. Option 2: A small country is wondering where their capitol building's gold dome went.

Issue No. 679: Space Is Big Enough for the Both of Us. Option 1: East Lebatuckese astronauts' favorite game during downtime on the Multinational Space Station is 'I Spy'.

Issue No. 682: Exhaust Every Option. Option 2: Proprietary charger leads are now a pain for electric cars as well as cellphones.

Issue No. 683: Different Keystrokes for Different Folks. Kids who move from attending a public school in the city to the country often struggle in goat milking class.

Issue No. 685: Externalities Palmed Off. Option 3: Napalm is the tool of choice for disabling eco-unfriendly forestry operations.

Issue No. 686: Freemium Isn’t Free. Option 2: Children often explain to their parents that the Mega Ultimate Sword Fist was worth the thousand-bitcoin charge on their phone bill.

Issue No. 687: Marriage by Proxy Server. Option 2: Blind dates reemerge as a necessary evil in the quest for love.

Issue No. 689: A Sticky Situation. Option 3: Eau de Trashcan has become a wildly popular perfume.

Issue No. 694: Concussive Percussion. Option 2: Dynamite sales and concert audiences are booming.

Issue No. 697: Conventional Wisdom. Option 3: Consul has taken to wearing medal-adorned military uniform in all public appearances.

Issue No. 699: Pipe Down, Already! Option 3: Safe drinking water is considered a luxury.

Issue No. 704: It’s Not Lying, It’s Post-Truth. Option 2: Perverts across the land rejoice after 'sexual harassment' was recently renamed 'persuasive courting'.

Issue No. 711: Patently Obvious. Option 2: A third of Yibrakis are e-certified CEOs.

Issue No. 714: Milky Ways. Option 1: Increasing numbers of children in Yibrak have different eye and hair color to their supposed fathers.

Issue No. 729: Teenage Kicks. Option 2: Bruised children are made to thank their bullies for the valuable life lessons.

Issue No. 738: Cruel or Unusual? Option 1: Drug lords often avoid prison time by teaching "chemistry" classes to underprivileged youth.

Issue No. 739: In Loco Parentis. Option 3: Fifteen-year-olds cannot walk younger siblings to school without a professional Childcare and Education Certificate.

Issue No. 747: The Plane Truth. Option 4: Air Yibrak is rumored to receive more government funding than the Yibraki Air Force.

Issue No. 750: Cheerleading Community Does the Splits. Option 1: A suspicious number of male students have joined the Ladies' Wrestling League.

Issue No. 756: The Issue With Issues. Option 2: Chairman can often be found attempting to coax random citizens' cats down from trees.

Issue No. 762: Double Down on Double Time? Option 2: Takeaway food bought on the weekend now comes with fifty percent more sweat and tears.

Issue No. 763: Any Body for Science? Option 1: Sneezing pedestrians are grabbed by alley-lurking doctors.

Issue No. 765: Don’t Judge Me. Option 1: Judicial robes are the country's hottest fashion trend.

Issue No. 768: Trouble Brewing. Option 4: The song 'They Got an Awful Lot of Coffee in Yibrak is a smash hit.

Issue No. 769: How to Print Money? Option 1: Police regularly arrest families playing Monopoly.

Issue No. 776: Fake News, Everyone!. Option 2: The leading national news source is 'my cousin Billy-Bob on MyFace'.

Issue No. 778: Mal Appetit! Option 3: The year's most anticipated show is "Great Deals on Delicious Meals".

Issue No. 798: A Periodic Issue of Elementary Nature. Option 1: Prankster scientists legally change their names to silly pseudonyms before major discoveries.

Issue No. 801: Animation Provocation. Option 4: The realistic depiction of tentacles is on the core syllabus of most art schools.

Issue No. 804: Motivational Posters. Option 1: Internet trolls are considered valiant supporters of the right to free speech.

Issue No. 807: Have War Crimes, Will Travel. Option 4: Peace talks occasionally rack up a higher body count than the wars they seek to stop.

Issue No. 808: Big Trouble in Little Dàguó. Option 1: The government advises foreign diplomats to speak softly and carry a big bag of cash.

Issue No. 811: Get Baked. Option 2: Dessert dishes make up the Yibraki breakfast menu.

Issue No. 813: A Little Birdie Told Me. Option 1: Foreign leaders' Twitcher accounts are monitored for potential threats to national security.

Issue No. 814: A Topic of Ethical Import. Option 3: Concerned environmentalists wipe away their tears with tissues sourced from Tasmanian old-growth redwoods.

Issue No. 818: We Are Not Amused. Option 1: Homeowners on prime real estate have been seen dodging giant bulldozers with cartoon characters painted on them.

Issue No. 821: A Switch in Time Kills Nine. Option 3: It is illegal to have the wrong clock time showing on your microwave oven.

Issue No. 824: Period Drama. Option 4: Giant beards and handlebar moustaches are increasingly popular.

Issue No. 826: Licensing Driving Yibrakis Crazy. Option 2: For just a few extra credits Yibrakis can get new driving records with their new cars.

Issue No. 827: Making Money Hand Over Fist. Option 3: Major boxing matches are held in government buildings.

Issue No. 828: Your Execution in 30 Years or Less or You’re Free. Option 4: Court TV ratings have skyrocketed now that executions are filmed on location.

Issue No. 832: Moderating Your Opinion. Option 4: '.lib' or '.con' domains indicate whether Yibraki websites are meant for liberals or conservatives.

Issue No. 835: The End Is in Sight? Option 2: Hit TV show 'The eXecution Factor' is a critical success.

Issue No. 844: Essentially on Strike. Option 1: The nation's police officers are famously miserable-looking.

Issue No. 853: Silence Is Golden. Option 2: Citizens no longer take selfies with their dead relatives at funerals.

Issue No. 855: Thin Evidence. Option 2: It is customary to begin the summer with a fasting ritual in which people eat nothing but kumquat smoothies.

Issue No. 856: You Got Stones. Option 1: The experimental sculpture "Overtures In Dried Eagle Dung" has been declared a national treasure.

Issue No. 857: Are You There God Particle? It’s Me, Consul. Option 3: The new Grand Inquisitor of Righteous Scientific Inquiry has ordered a surprising amount of hemlock.

Issue No. 863: Oiling the Wheels of Diplomacy. Option 3: Military training in Yibrak emphasizes the tactical advantages of stabbing backs.

Issue No. 864: The Missionary Position. Option 1: Foreign converts are illuminated by both missionaries and helicopter searchlights.

Issue No. 866: O Medication, Where Art Thou? Option 2: Cooking with water and baking soda is considered patent infringement.

Issue No. 869: I’ll Be in My Bunker. Option 1: There's a hole in the heart of every Yibrak city.

Issue No. 888: Criminal Patterns. Option 1: Road signs are getting harder to read under layers of knitted woolen cardigans.

Issue No. 895: Stop Training and Start Coaching. Option 1: The "temporary replacement bus service" is now a permanent fixture.

Issue No. 906: Internet Killed the Television Star. Option 3: Chairman's webseries about the alleged hauntings of Union City generates millions of views.

Issue No. 915: Clasp of Controversy. Option 1: Foreign leaders who don't applaud Leader's speeches are regarded as enemies of Yibrak.

Issue No. 918: J’Accuse!. Option 2: Human resources employees have time for hobbies as harassment is designated "high praise".

Issue No. 921: It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Yibrak. Option 4: Hunters often become the hunted.

Issue No. 922: I’ll Have What She’s Having. Option 1: The fattest folk in Yibrak look to be the happiest ones.

Issue No. 926: Ghost in the Machine. Option 3: Where there's a will there is usually a password manager.

Issue No. 934: Chairman, Don’t Tear Down That Wall! Option 2: The jackhammer is considered a tool of artistic criticism.

Issue No. 939: A Question of Bad Faith. Option 2: Cults that offer eternal life after death to those who follow a self-sacrificing saviour are frowned upon.

Issue No. 946: Better In Than Out. Option 3: There's a lot of hot air coming from the Capitol Building.

Issue No. 947: Imitation Station. Option 1: Drivers regularly pull over for nonexistent police cars.

Issue No. 954: The Ethnic Minority Report. Option 3: Only "purebloods" are allowed in the nicer parts of town.

Issue No. 958: Pay No Attention to That Donor Behind the Curtain! Option 2: Politicians have been known to swim in pools filled with bitcoins.

Issue No. 959: A-Major Debate. Option 1: Elementary school students are required to master Bach's Chaconne in D before graduation.

Issue No. 961: No Two Ways About It. Option 1: Political candidates who don't release their birth certificates are presumed to have been born in Maxtopia.

Issue No. 974: Siren Song. Option 2: The banshee wail foretells skies of death.

Issue No. 980: Small Claims. Option 1: The nation's atlases tend to go out of date every few weeks.

Issue No. 987: Quia Scriptum Est. Option 2: The law says it's okay to sell a bomb to a terrorist so long as they promise not to detonate it.

Issue No. 991: Alms and Qualms. Option 2: Charities reserve the right to not help those who go against religious teachings.

Issue No. 993: Drug Deal. Option 2: Doctors accused of having no heart reply that cardiology isn't their speciality.

Issue No. 996: Scripting a Change? Option 1: Textbooks are exactly twice as heavy as they used to be.

Issue No. 1012: Tilting at Wind Turbines. Option 3: Epidemiologists happily announce that the reported incidence of depression is close to zero percent.

Issue No. 1019: Patent Nonsense. Option 2: The wheel has been patented by at least a hundred people.

Issue No. 1022: Failure to Respond. Option 4: There's no cure or sympathy for the common cold.

Issue No. 1025: A Meal to Die For. Option 2: Demand for gourmet white truffles is on the rise.

Issue No. 1028: Can’t Get Enough of You Baby. Option 1: Toddler groups have taken over local libraries.

Issue No. 1029: Frozen Assets. Option 1: People who stay late at the office often come home to find their own funeral being planned.

Issue No. 1031: Down in the Groove. Option 2: Literature classes frequently go on field trips to rock concerts.

Issue No. 1035: Bringing a Bayonet to a Gunfight. Option 1: Soldiers' positions are given away by the glint of their bayonets.

Issue No. 1036: When in Maxtopia. Option 4: The nation was recently voted as the most stylish in (Region).

Issue No. 1038: Maid to Order. Option 3: Slaving over a hot stove to cook the family dinner isn't metaphorical in Yibrak. (Slavery policy instated.)

Issue No. 1043: Foundering Fashionistas. Option 2: Trust-fund babies line up for places in community college.

Issue No. 1050: Criminal Guns Soon to Be Shooting Blanks. Option 2: Incarcerated crime lords manage their empires from massage tables.

Issue No. 1060: Hole in the Wall. Option 3: Official maps have to be revised on a weekly basis.

Issue No. 1063: Playing It by the Numbers. Option 3: Sofas are perpetually on sales that Must End Soon.

Issue No. 1067: Don’t Fear the Reefer. Option 4: More citizens have access to Maxtopian Grass than clean drinking water.

Issue No. 1068: Made to Break. Option 2: Frequent broken zippers have resulted in safety pins making a fashion comeback.

Issue No. 1070: Skeletons in the Closet. Option 1: The government tells its citizens to 'forgive and forget'.

Issue No. 1071: Up the Creek. Option 2: Water fights now end with thousands dead.

Issue No. 1072: Holographic Harmonization. Option 3: There's no weight to modern politics.

Issue No. 1083: Public Protesting Pawnbroker Pickpockets. Option 3: Pawn shop reality shows dominate basic cable.

Issue No. 1091: The Great Divide. Option 2: Jabbing a baby's bottle at officials gets parents waved straight through immigration.

Issue No. 1095: Make the Cut. Option 1: Throwing garbage out of your house's front window makes it legally someone else's problem.

Issue No. 1097: What Do We Do With a Drunken Sailor? Option 3: The navy plans patrols according to how many pubs nearby ports have.

Issue No. 1099: New Satellite Blues. Option 4: The government's new priority is citizens' access to cat videos.

Issue No. 1101: Unreal. Option 5: Chekhov's guns are killing the entertainment budget.

Issue No. 1105: A Green History Lesson. Option 2: Residents of ageing concrete tower blocks have vital renovation work stopped by Brutalism enthusiasts.

Issue No. 1110: Curtains for the Horrorshow. Option 2: The mood of raunchy movies is often ruined by the sound of babies crying.

Issue No. 1114: Patriotism Flagging. Option 1: Patriots insist that size does matter.

Issue No. 1118: We Can’t Cross That Bridge When We Come to It. Option 3: Apprentice builders get teased for wearing hard hats.

Issue No. 1121: Tribes and Tribulations. Option 4: Missionaries learn the hard way that their piercing spiritual insights are no match for arrows.

Issue No. 1123: Till Death Do Us Part. Option 3: Millions of Yibrakis are excellent swimmers.

Issue No. 1132: Gold Standards. Option 1: It's a long jump to get onto the housing ladder.

Issue No. 1133: Rocky Road. Option 3: An increasing number of citizens believe the world is flat.

Issue No. 1134: Tariff-ic Trouble. Option 2: Economists have been named Invertebrates of the Year.

Issue No. 1135: My Eyes Are Up Here. Option 3: A cat may look at a king and a dude can look at an ass.

Issue No. 1138: Shock Tactics. Option 3: Chest pains are considered part of the dining experience in Yibraki restaurants.

Issue No. 1139: A Little Wrestling, a Lot of Controversy. Option 2: The government loves seeing the little people fight.

Issue No. 1151: Gotta Go Fast. Option 4: Supermodels maintain their skinny form by running away from government officials.

Issue No. 1156: Pet Theory. Option 3: Burgers often list "miscellaneous meats" in their ingredients.

Issue No. 1166: Acres Wild. Option 1: Farmers have taken to hunting billionaires who encroach on their land.

Issue No. 1172: Piled Higher and Deeper. Option 2: College-level writing classes are taught by undergraduate editors of the school newspaper.

Issue No. 1175: Can I Borrow a Word? Option 3: Colonial subjects have Yibraki culture shoved down their throats.

Issue No. 1179: Nothing Fishy. Option 2: Ports have ground to a halt as no boat can reach them without trespassing.

Issue No. 1187: Tipping Point. Option 2: Wait staff claim to like it when odorous customers flirt with them.

Issue No. 1201: Tell Me Sweet Little Lies. Option 4: Even snitches get stitches.

Issue No. 1208: Just Snoring With Excitement. Option 2: Students consistently complain that the wi-fi ate their homework.

Issue No. 1210: Big Tobacco in Big Trouble. Option 2: The smell of tobacco is often smelt around legislative buildings across the nation.

Issue No. 1228: The Road to Hell. Option 3: Only the fast and the furious are brave enough to drive.

Issue No. 1236: Being Honest. Option 2: The Messiah (formerly known as Brian) is a mayoral candidate.

Issue No. 1238: No Shoes, No Service. Option 2: Signs saying "No Poor People or Weirdoes" are common outside shops and cafés.

Issue No. 1247: Suspension of the Disbelieved Option 1: Anything is permissible when wearing latex gloves.

Issue No. 1254: Sales on Rails. Option 2: There's more vermin than ever on the metro.

Issue No. 1257: It’s a Kind of Magic. Option 5: Religious officials are furious after discovering that things made of stone do not burn well at the stake.

Issue No. 1263: Is the Signature Always Right? Option 3: People who make the leader's blood boil get boiled.

Issue No. 1276: A Boatload of Trouble. Option 3: Even immigrants complain that immigrants keep taking their jobs.

Issue No. 1280: The Amazing, but Illegal, Spiderman. Option 2: Older ladies are inundated with offers to help them cross the road.

Issue No. 1285: Born to Kill. Option 3: A sophisticated government-sponsored breeding program creates normal people.

Issue No. 1286: Burning Over a New Leaf. Option 5: Yibrakis wonder "if a tree falls in the woods with no credible witnesses, who wants to know?".

Issue No. 1291: The Most Wonderful Time of the Year. Option 4: Children asked by parents to 'guess how much I love you' ask for the cash value.

Issue No. 1292: A Sticky End for Leader? Option 1: When shaking hands with foreign leaders Leader wears an armored gauntlet.

Issue No. 1294: Silence in Court. Option 3: People can get away with murder these days.

Issue No. 1295: Show Trial. Option 4: Jury duty means front row seats to a spectacular show.

Issue No. 1313: The Meek Shall Inherit? Option 2: Many Yibrakis are their brothers' keepers.

Issue No. 1323: Toss the Coin? Option 3: East Lebatuckese luxury goods are plundered by the working class of Yibrak.

Issue No. 1332: We Won’t, We Won’t Rock You. Option 1: Serial killers are the country's biggest import.

Issue No. 1355: Feeling Null. Option 3: The meaning of life was recently discovered in the patch notes for Version 1.42.

Issue No. 1364: Payday Groans. Option 2: It's said that a Yibraki always pays his debts with significant compounding.

Issue No. 1365: Balancing the Box. Option 4: Citizens hear a diversity of opinions from a range of billionaire-owned corporations.

Issue No. 1368: Parking Hell. Option 1: The optimally efficient parking strategy for business commuters is referred to as the "traveling salesman problem".

Issue No. 1370: All Systems Post-Nominal. Option 1: A PhD just ain't what it used to be.

Issue No. 1410: Lives On-Line. Option 3: Hospitals fear government fines more than terrorist ransoms.

Issue No. 1416: Building on Sand. Option 4: The nation is wading into dangerous waters.

Issue No. 1454: Poplar Opinion. Option 3: Biological warfare is used to solve small disagreements.