The Fyrndom of Archaelandia is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Spielberth Witbere with an iron fist, and notable for its prohibition of alcohol, aversion to nipples, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 6.964 billion Archaeans are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Stromer. The average income tax rate is 97.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Archaean economy, worth a remarkable 1,117 trillion Frelse Sceatts a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is mostly made up of the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Furniture Restoration, and Information Technology. Average income is an impressive 160,430 Frelse Sceatts, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government only invests in infrastructure after a natural disaster, protests are legal but strictly supervised, physics lessons mostly involve talking about emotional management techniques, and there's never enough space in space. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Archaelandia's national animal is the Spinosaurus Archaeanus, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Elderism.

Archaelandia is ranked 3,281^st in the world and 2^nd in Dinotopia for Lowest Crime Rates, with 127.95 law-abiding acts per hour.